Our Amazing Digital Journal
2026-06-30
I started fronting for the first time in a while & things seem rough haha, we are probably gonna lose our job tmrw but c'est la vie i guess, nothing we can really do to stop it, HR decided they dont want to deal with a mentally ill transgender anymore so they're done. & now i guess we are in the alcoholic mom arc, i keep thinking she can't keep getting worse- well that isn't completely true.. We had a fear she would hurt herself for the longest time as we were growing up & i guess that i can expect her to keep getting worse in that regard, i really hope she doesnt do anything like that but at this point i don't know what to do, i don't want to just placate her but also nothing else i've tried & historically that is the only thing that works. I am at such a loss, like all the things i feel like i should do are futile it seems, like i wanna get back with a therapist but EHHHH X (imagine a buzzer sound) you dont have money! & if you're fired no insurance either! Fuckers hahaha i really REALLY wish they'd just tell me, this like stringing along is so not cool but like again, what am i to do, I can't rage at them because i dont wanna risk them firing me & not being able to get unemployment bc i fucked up - Zelda
2026-07-02
dude fuck this place, they are so mean to me here & i really dont get why, well i think i do now & what a shocker, its the same reason anyone who doesnt know me is mean to me.. like anyone who actually knows me is nice to me, well except for like our mom lol but she doesnt really count anymore bc i dont think she actually knows me, well thats a whole other thing that i dont really wanna get into. But yeah they basically police interrogate me & show me a bunch of papers they think are forged & everything they showed me wasnt forged, they gave me one task they thought would be impossible yet i was able to accomplish that, so now they've given me another task they think i'll be unable to do & they are right this time because i dont wanna fucking do it, i hate it here, circle back to fuck this place they are so mean to me. I trust nobody anymore, people i thought were on my side are now clearly not, some less clear but i cannot be too safe, i'm not really gonna change my ways because they have given me no reason to. They acted like they cared about me & were like "we just wanna make sure our people are good & that youre taken care of :)" but it read more as "we like to act like we care about you but in fact the first time we've met is now when we are accusing you of being a lying cheat all while you dont even know our names :)" -Alice
2026-07-03
I'm in my morning meeting right, its me a trangender girl, an older lady & a bunch a guys, they're all talking about smoking weed then about smoking cigs & they all are like "oh i call them cigs, ciggys, ect." then my lead goes "in england they call them darts.... or fags" then some other guy goes "yeahh they call them fags!" THIS IS MY WORK MORNING MEETING BTW. Then some other dude i barely know says "y'know smoking fags in england is a lot different than smoking fags in america." Awesome joke!! Cuz its about them killing queers, like that's the joke the dude made, fucking shithead. But yeah a good few of them said fag, like yeah not directly as a slur sure but like you are completely aware of what you're doing "ohh i am getting away with saying fag in front of a tranny!" is basically the vibe. its like saying faggot then if someone calls you out you just go "whaa i was just talking about a bundle of sticks!" then take that faggot, shove it down your throat & die. Sorry. I hate them but I also hate myself so i wont act on anything, i also know violence isnt the answer. I'd like to call them out at the very least but my lead, my manager, & HR are all against me now, & i have to guess it's because they found out i was trans, this all started after i said they need to support trans people & other targeted minority groups more on an "anonymous" survey. I don't know what to do, if i stop working me & my girlfriend will be homeless & i can deal with that but i wont be responsible for her losing housing. -Elizabeth/Alice